I was feeding my son the other Monday. Dawn was visiting Hyde Park Produce and stopping by Village Foods. Me and the kid were on the couch.
I pressed the remote while Bryce gurgled and pretended he was finished. He smiled and waved his arm in the air like a conductor. I turned on Tyra’s show. No, I don’t generally watch Tyra, but you’d be surprised what mind-draining shows come on when a 9-week old is screaming for milk.
Tyra was talking with a woman who had been married ten years. The woman decided to “step out on her husband.” I looked down at my son, told him not to listen to the foolishness, and kept watching.
He sat, still smiling. I enjoyed how oblivious he was, secretly wishing he’d forever maintain some part of that ignorance as he grew up to sit on couches and push remote controls.
The woman on the show found a business that provides a service to people in her situation. They pair people, match them, for their extra-marital or extra extra-marital affairs. She sat on the stage but she wasn’t alone.
The business owner was present as well, down in the audience, expressing his hopes that people would take their marriages seriously, that they wouldn’t leave, that they would get counseling if possible. But, he said, if you are sure you are going to cheat, use my service to find that next partner. A real supporter of marriage, this man.
But it gets better.
The woman being interviewed explained to the audience that when she found this service, she had found–her words, not mine–an answer to her prayers.
Think about that. An answer to prayer.
For some reason, that statement bothered me more than the risky show of extreme recklessness that was before me in her grand endorsement of adultery. Her phrase overshadowed for the moment the 150+ men she claimed to have sex with over a six-month frame. Perhaps it was a slip of the tongue.
An answer to her prayers.
Would God or god or anything in between have listened to her if she really did ask for multiple sex partners as she stepped out on her husband? I won’t judge the woman, but I will judge whatever divinity she prayed to as utterly ridiculous.
I’m a bit too cynical to think a person can or should be happy everyday for the rest of his or her life. But there are some things I wouldn’t pray for? For example, I wouldn’t pray for God to make it possible for me to commit adultery. I just wouldn’t.