Changes in Employment Change Your Relationship

My wife told me in 2005 that she needed to leave the job she’d held for the previous several years.  We’d been married for four years by then.  I told her it wasn’t a good time.  I told her I thought she could stick with it.  In effect, I told her no.  She reintroduced the topic in 2006. 

She used all the right words.  She used words like “mental health, emotional state, scared, unsure how long I can last, sexism,” and “racism”.  These are words that immediately capture me.  They make me pay attention when I’m not.  Little attenae in my brain wake up and stretch and stand tall when I hear them.

When she did leave, we talked to close friends about the decision.  We asked for advice.  I was scared.  In my head I used words like emotional state and mental health, and I questioned how long I could last. 

We didn’t have all the answers.  Dawn didn’t have a job lined up.  She had searched and searched and was sure that she would locate a new position quickly if she was able to devote herself to the search full time. 

Things changed.  In us.  In me. 

When she left her work and became a freelancer, when she eventually got a part-time job that she wanted and didn’t want at the same time, we both changed.  We kept changing and are still changing.  She’s working full-time now.  But that season of unemployment and adjusted employment marked us.  We look at things differently, are hesistant to spend as easily, and are more intentional about giving.

Do you have a similar experience?  If you do, how have you been changed?


2 thoughts on “Changes in Employment Change Your Relationship

  1. Changes in employment have a huge impact on relationships. Losing a well paying job days before proposing to my girlfriend was a huge blow, and the resulting months of unemployment have been very stressful. With that season of unemployment ending shortly, I can look back and say now that we learned a lot about ourselves and each other. I think our relationship has somehow been better for having gone through that experience at such a pivotal point in our relationship.

    • Anonymous, I connect well with your comment. I hope the phase you’ve been through gives you both trust in each other and affirmation that one month always turns into another. May your relationship grow stronger as you look toward marriage. Thanks for the comment.

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